Porn Kills Love

Yes I have watched porn. I was, one could say, at one point an addict to it. I’ve been clean for a number of years now and was it yet another milestone for me in my own journey to decolonize myself. Anyway, I won’t waste time sitting here talking about that.

Many wants to claim that mainstream pornography is usually ”consensual and caring” but I beg to differ. Why? Well by a quick look at all the many, many ‘free’ porn sites one can clearly see that the most popular videos are some pretty hardcore stuff. Anyway, this entry is not about that either. It’s more what the core of porn is (or how I come to see it with the help of some radical feminist writing from some pretty awesome women. Kajsa Ekis Ekman, Andrea Dworkin, Sheila Jeffrey, Lierre Keith, Marilyn Frye among others and plenty of really great blogs ran by women online).

Porn is promoting the notion that when having sex there always has to be a ‘fucker’ and a ‘fuckee’ ie a dominant part and a receiving part of that domination a submissive if you will. Consensual or not–and on a side not consent is a bit of a weird word to me because it hints towards the fact that you agree to do something that you really don’t want to do–this is the imagery we are supposed to take to heart. To fantasize about. To masturbate too. To have our sexuality shaped around…
One quick look at so called gay porn one finds pretty much a mimic of the hetero normative porn. It follows the same guideline. There is more of often than not a ‘fucker’ and a ‘fuckee’ engaging in whatever they do in front of a camera.

At the core of the porn industry lays the fact to make sure that the female body is (sexually) exploited for profit and to be available 24/7 for the male dominating society we live in. And we men are supposed to take this to heart and reduce ourselves to nothing more than morons that has no other value added to us than to play (and think) with our penises. In fact I’m quite amazed that so many of the men out there in the big world are more often than not defending this industry. An industry that views them as nothing more but a bunch of wankers (literally). You are more than that fellas.

Porn kills love.

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