Stop encroaching into women-only spaces. That goes for online spaces as well. Stop being defensive when women highlight that you are doing this and stop pitting women against one another. It’s great that you like to voice your support for women and fight patriarchy, but it’s not so great when you run into women’s spaces and begin writing/saying pretty much the same things women have said for a really long time. And for whom are you writing when you take up space in women’s spaces online or offline ? Our work as pro-feminist males (or allies) should be to voice our support by writing aimed at men. Create our own platforms in which we can share our views and work. No, I’m not saying you can’t talk to women, No I’m not saying you can never work alongside women. I’m saying stop taking up women’s spaces. Stop voicing yourself over women who could easy say the same thing as you do, and more often than not already do. Being a pro-feminist man means to me to take a supportive role in women’s fight against patriarchy.
We are deeply tainted by patriarchy, all of us, that goes without saying. Even the most humble man can use his ‘maleness’ to hurt women. That’s the sad reality of today’s industrialized world and culture. We need less of this and more of freeing women. Support women’s voices, don’t talk over them, don’t breach the first rule: respect boundaries, online and offline. And at the risk of sounding like a bit of typical man now, we don’t need to see feminists get angry at one another because of a man. No we don’t, it can so easily be avoided by simply not breaching into spaces where we should not be.
Being a pro-feminist/ally is not something you should expect to get rewards or praise from women for. Being a decent male human being, which it really comes down too in my opinion, should not have to be rewarded. If you need praise from women, then you are acting very self-rewarding and out of the wrong reasons and you sound more tainted by patriarchy than you want to admit. I also would like to share a few thoughts on men who take this even further and not only talk over women or take up space, but label themselves feminists. Do you understand the core of feminism at all ? Do you know what it is ? From radical feminism to marxist feminism to socialist feminism to eco-feminism there is a core understanding all of them share. It is liberation from patriarchy. That includes liberation from any (or all) of us men if they so wish. How do you think that will happen if you label yourself, as a man, part of this movement and voice your opinions (and then even pick sides as in judging what is right and wrong feminism according to your socialized male standards) over women ? You reinsert patriarchy within the very space in which women fight for their own freedom to get rid of it. Shame on you. And I really don’t want to hear how you have a lot of support from women. You again rally up women against one another. Making sure patriarchy stays in the shadows as women tear their own movement apart so that you can feel better about yourself. You are very much a man and your maleness and privilege for being born male shines from a mile away. Please stop.